The Naked Vacation: Beauty Tips for Basking in the Buff

The New York Times had a fabulously informative article on how to vacation naked. Naked!! First thing you should know is that the word “nudist” is vulgar - that's “naturist” to you clothing-needy types.

The article listed out several free-range-epidermis vacays that sounded fun. Sun? Cruises? Buffets? Contact sports? Eww - scratch that last one.

But I think there was a typo. The writer noted that vacationers could really pack light. Pack light?? Obviously that writer is no true naturist!

At minimum, being naked requires:

Bliss FatGirlSlim
I don’t know about you gals, but even naked I’m always wearing my “cellulite knickers.” In fact, I’d take two jars of this.

Bliss Love Handler
How can a naked girl enjoy the all-you-can-eat buffets without this? It’s elastic waist pants for the clothing-optional crowd.

Clarins Self Tanning Instant Gel
I don’t have to explain the critical importance of bronzer on parts of skin that haven’t EVER seen sunlight, do I?

Sephora Sun Safety Kit
I introduced myself as a pasty-facer, which means when I’m outdoors, even my hair is SPF 30.

Too Faced Decade of Glamour Beauty Wardrobe Makeup Collection
I’m being honest here, but just because I’m stark raving madly naked from the neck down still doesn’t mean I’m ever leaving the house with no makeup on.